


Nights Not Made for Dreaming

by james



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mild Angst, Rogers/Wilson background, Sleepovers, mention of past self-harm, veers off canon after first Avengers movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 03:39:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15039896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: Tony has nightmares.  They all do.  Slowly, they help each other cope.  Then Bucky crawls into Tony's bed.Fills bingo squares:Winteriron Bingo: Waking Up In Bed Together, O1Tony Stark Bingo: laughter, T3





	Nights Not Made for Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: the self-harm is mentioned in passing, twice, as a thing that happened in the past.

Over the years, Tony and sleep had had a difficult, contrary relationship. Tony hated sleep, though when he'd been young it had simply been that there was always something more interesting he could be doing. As he'd gotten older, sleep had meant lying in a dark room with nothing but his own thoughts to entertain him while he waited for sleep; sex and drugs had dealt with avoiding anything resembling self-reflection most of the time.

After, of course, it was the nightmares and the fear and never enough time to build the things he needed to keep ~~himself~~ the world safe. Over the last couple of years, building friendships with the other Avengers had made his home and the world feel a tiny bit safer and somehow along the way he'd begun letting himself fall asleep. He still had nightmares, but they faded over time, chased by the echoes of Steve or Bruce or Nat's voices telling him one way or another that none of them had to fight alone.

It helped – Tony hated to be grateful – that they all had reasons to forego sleep. Every one of them had nightmares, nights (weeks) when they'd wander the Tower in search of distraction instead of risking sleep. When Steve brought Bucky home, they'd folded him into their little Sleep Sucks club, taking turns without quite meaning to at keeping Barnes company during his long stretches of getting the crap in his head somewhat sorted out.

Finally, he'd gotten down to a sort of routine that was almost what a person could call mostly, somewhat healthy. (Pepper didn't, but she didn't sigh at him as much anymore when she found out he'd been awake for three days.) Tony didn't force himself to sleep if he was doing something interesting or important in his workshop. He didn't force himself to try sleeping if he was having a bad day: jittery and shaking at nothing, frantic as he skimmed through all the news feeds from around the world, despite knowing JARVIS was already doing it much faster and efficiently. Those days he let himself just float as long as he could, letting anything he could grab distract him.

But if he felt okay, if things in his head were quiet enough, and if there were enough other Avengers in the Tower to watch his back from the distance of their own rooms and floors, Tony would head for his bedroom and lie down. He didn't always sleep in his bed; he was a billionaire, he could ensure every couch in the entire building was comfortable enough for sleeping. And sometimes he needed to be sitting up, muscle memory of the Arc Reactor's effects on his lungs and heart making his body need the ease of being upright in order to relax.

Sometimes he slept in the common room and would wake up to find someone else sacked out on another couch. Tony never asked if it was for his sake or their own; he didn't need to know. He was fine with being someone else's security blanket, because after all these years he was sleeping – not every night but almost every other. Sometimes he woke up to find he'd slept soundly for ten or more hours, so he knew whatever he was doing it was probably working.

It was working, JARVIS and Pepper had mostly stopped nagging him and he didn't have a marathon lack of sleep more than every few months so it was all good, good enough, Tony was fine and he was on the somewhat contented side of being not totally unhappy.

So when he woke up in his bed and found Barnes curled up beside him, he was confused. Barnes was sound asleep, lying on his stomach with both arms wrapped around a stolen pillow, looking like he had every right to be there. Which, okay, Tony didn't really object. He didn't object to having Barnes in his bed for a variety of reasons, though he'd been fairly certain that the other man wasn't up for anything more than light flirting, based on the way he still didn't always meet Tony's eyes when they talked. Barnes didn't talk much with anyone, though he would sit and listen now, when before he would shy away and disappear. Now he'd smile and nod and act like he was enjoying the conversation, sometimes, and a word here and there made it obvious he wasn't secretly hoping you'd shut up and leave him alone.

Tony had started carefully flirting with him, mostly because he'd seen Barnes smile once and it had been amazing, and he was hoping to tease out another one. But he was also fairly sure they hadn't yet done anything that would lead to this.

He didn't want to wake Barnes up, because the man was sleeping soundly and Tony well knew how rare that was. He stayed still for a bit, then carefully waved a finger for JARVIS to give him a holographic screen. He settled back to do what he could without moving too much.

It took an hour before Barnes stirred, and Tony simply waited. Another moment, then Barnes' eyes came flying open as he woke up all at once. He stared at Tony, clearly surprised. Tony waited, then watched as Barnes looked around the room, then his focus went inward as he took stock of himself. 

“Huh,” was all Barnes said. 

“Morning,” Tony said, making sure he sounded like he wasn't angry or annoyed or going to make demands like what the hell even. He didn't actually mind, after all. He'd had JARVIS show him the video of Barnes coming into Tony's room about an hour after Tony had finally fallen asleep. Barnes had been walking like he'd been asleep, himself, and he'd just crawled into Tony's bed and settled in. They'd both slept all night, JARVIS reported neither of them had showed any sign of disturbing dreams.

Barnes cleared his throat a bit, still stretched out on Tony's bed, still clinging to Tony's favorite pillow like he wasn't about to leap to his feet and run.

Which was fine, as long as he dropped the pillow first. 

“Coffee?” Tony offered, since it seemed like maybe this wasn't one of Barnes' talking days. 

“Wilson,” Barnes began, and Tony nodded, because hell yes they could blame any number of things on him. It was the man's own fault for being one of the few people Tony knew who was more or less emotionally healthy. Nat too, maybe, though Tony wasn't sure if she was just ignoring everything in her past or if she'd actually learned to deal with it. But Wilson – the man had gotten Steve laughing so hard he'd fallen to the floor, giggling with his hands over his stomach until he was gasping for air and wheezing like his asthma had come back. Wilson had been the one to bring a piece of normalcy to Steve's life, becoming a friend that Steve could lean on and escape with, which somehow bled over to all of them, breathing a little easier and relaxing a little more.

The dynamics of their little group had settled when Wilson moved in, with Steve letting go his desperate grip on Barnes, no longer clinging quite so hard to his only tie to the past. Barnes was thus free to find his own footing among the Avengers, and he'd ended up making friends with Clint, both of them debating grossest but still edible pizza toppings and having sniping contests from places Tony insisted they never tell him about, so when the Mayor called he could deny any knowledge.

This freed Nat up to poke Tony in his workshop and teach her things like welding and soldering, while Bruce chatted with her about chemistry and food science and the best ways to influence a person with food smells. This often led to demonstrations, which Tony was heartily in favor of, willing to be a test dummy if it meant being served curries and tea and the best steamed bread he'd ever eaten. This of course led to Steve wandering down to help taste-test, and a conversation about radio tubes led to several sessions of getting him up to speed on the history of electronics. Which led to Wilson hanging out with Clint and Barnes which led – eventually, Tony was willing to skip a few logical steps – to Barnes sleeping in Tony's bed.

Barnes was pushing himself upright, which allowed Tony a wonderful few of his arms and torso. Should he be grateful or heartbroken that Barnes didn't sleep in the nude? Both, probably. He waited while Barnes got himself settled into a sitting position, rubbing at his face and shaking his head a bit, like there were some wires still loose.

“Wilson gave me this link to youtube, videos of... some shit. Relaxation, meditation. Something. Lots of rain and tinkling bells and being told to visualise a flower.”

Tony nodded, because it didn't make sense yet, but Barnes was actually talking and he was sitting beside him, shirtless, looking very comfortable and relaxed. JARVIS would be recording this for Tony's own safety of course, which meant he could re-watch it whenever he wanted.

“Guess it led to me sleepwalking,” Barnes said, shrugging. “I fell asleep with my headphones on, and woke up here.” He gave Tony a guilty look. “Sorry.”

“Eh,” Tony waved a hand at him. “It's fine. We both apparently slept like babies all night. No harm, no foul.”

Barnes guilty expression didn't change. “Still. I'll make sure I don't listen to that thing again. I...” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Could have--”

“Barnes. If you had tried to hurt me, JARVIS would have woken me. Would have woken you, would have woken the entire Avengers team plus several suits of Iron Man armor. Instead, you crawled into my bed and slept. Well. You stole my pillow, which we will be having words about.” 

Startled, Barnes glanced over at the pillow he'd been using, and blinked. Tony wasn't at all embarrassed by the Captain America pillowcase. He had one for each Avenger, cycled through them regularly. Which reminded him he needed to get some Winter Soldier merch out there so he could buy some more bed linens. Did he want to sleep on Barnes' face? Hell yes.

Barnes' real face had an odd sort of expression and Tony realised how it might seem. For a long time there had been rumors about him and Steve being more than just friends. Still were, despite the plethora of photos of Steve and Sam being disgustingly happy in public. “I have everyone's. It--” Oh, hell. In for a penny, in for a billion pennies. “It reminds me that I'm not alone.” He looked down at his screen, still hovering above his lap. He'd been working on a water filtration system, portable and cheap, that could be inlaid into current piping.

Barnes looked back at the pillow and Tony could see it, hidden in the flat lack of expression. 

“I can order you a set if you want.”

Barnes grinned at him, quick and happy. “I want a full set of Captain American sheets. Steve'll turn purple, trying to not be embarrassed.”

“Done. JARVIS, full set for the man. Make sure he gets everyone's.” Tony smiled at him. “The Hawkeye sheets are the most amazingly horrible purple you have ever tried to sleep on in your life. Clint loves it – when he finds out you have them, he'll invite himself over for sleepovers and sprawl on your bed so you can post photos online.”

Barnes looked like he wasn't sure Tony was having him on, or agreed that it was entirely believable Clint would do that. “Sleepovers?” he finally got out. “I'm not the--” Barnes slammed his jaw shut, suddenly. Tony wasn't sure what had upset him, the idea that Tony thought he would like that sort of thing, sleepovers being for children, or the idea that he wasn't the only one of the Avengers to be in Tony's bed?

“He and Nat are fantastic for sleepovers. Bruce always begs off, says he's too boring, which so untrue. We're still working on him. But Clint and Nat are awesome. There's no sex – neither of them are into that.” Tony figured Barnes had probably been told, or had figured it out. They had different reasons, but the end result was neither of them had sex with anybody. “We watch movies and bitch about stupid people and eat more popcorn than is humanly possible.” Tony paused. They hadn't actually had a sleepover in awhile. “We should have one, you can come. We'll braid your hair and make you watch Mean Girls.”

“Um. Okay?” Barnes nodded, looking like he still wasn't sure Tony wasn't having him on. Then he shook his head, then seemed to suddenly realise where he was. “Crap. I-- I'm sorry about this.” He stood up, backing away from Tony's bed and scurrying away, towards the door. “I should let you.. whatever.”

“Ba-- Bucky,” Tony called after him. The other man stopped, but didn't turn around. “This is okay.”

Barnes – no, Bucky, stopped. If Tony was actually going to do this, he should at least call the man by his first name.

“I don't actually mind,” he said, slowly and clearly. “I can't say I'm here every night, but... you know. If you want to sleep with me, I'm okay with that. Platonic or--” Tony stopped. Had they gotten to this point yet, in the flirting? He frantically tried to review. In his own mind, hell yes they were at the point where sex happened. But Tony admitted he had an amazing imagination, and more of his shower-fantasies involved the man currently standing in his bedroom.

Bucky wasn't turning around, wasn't saying anything. Okay, whoops, he'd gone too fast.

“I mean, it doesn't. Have to be.” Tony sighed, wanted to smack himself. JARVIS called him on that now, though, and he'd had to learn to stop. “I slept really well with you here, and I'm told sleep is good.” He hoped that sounded normal, not pushy or full of innuendo or judgment. 

Bucky still didn't turn around, but the lines of his back smoothed out and his shoulders dropped as the tension faded. 

“If it happens on accident, if you sleepwalk here, that is completely okay,” Tony said, offering him an out. “If you bring your own pillow,” he added sternly. He could see the slight jerk of the muscles in Bucky's back, and Tony knew he'd laughed. “Seriously, you steal my pillow and it is all over between us.”

“I'll remember,” Bucky said, and his voice was soft, like back at the beginning when he hadn't been sure he was welcome, if he deserved any of what they'd offered.

“And I'll tell Clint and Nat, this Friday. Sleepover. We can invite Steve and Sam if you want, but fair warning if they start making out in my bedroom we're kicking them out.”

For a long moment there was no answer, but then Bucky nodded. Still didn't turn around, still didn't say anything. But he didn't run for the door, just walked like a normal person who wasn't upset he'd crawled into someone else's bed in the middle of the night.

Tony waited until Bucky was gone, then leaned back. “JARVIS, make sure the Iron Man set of sheets is delivered right away, before any of the others.”

“As you say, sir,” JARVIS replied. He sounded amused, even fond, like he always did when Tony had done something awesome like sleep through the night or eat three meals in a single day.

Tony had no idea if he'd manage to get Bucky into his bed again, for sleep or for more. But that was all right, because Bucky hadn't said no, and that gave Tony enough hope to make plans. 

“And tell the Wonder Twins about our sleepover, warn all the bad guys that we are not saving the world Friday night so they'd better knock it off early.”

There was a soft, staticky sigh, which made Tony grin. God, he felt fantastic and he hadn't even had his coffee yet. What the everlasting fuck.

Maybe if Bucky didn't come to bed again, Tony could go crawling into his. He'd give it a couple weeks, make sure Bucky wasn't having a bad day – or that he wasn't – and give it a try.

He'd have to make sure Bucky had Iron Man sheets on his bed when he did. Or maybe Falcon sheets. Sam would bitch about that for days.

Tony laughed, and got out of bed.


End file.
